Matters of the heart

So many times I find myself sitting in a room feeling as if no one truly understood where I was coming from, let alone where I was going. Did anyone honestly care that my heart, the most precious of things, was slowly being torn apart by my own ambition to feel love and acceptance. This longing so deep within that words themselves dare not to address them. For centuries those that had enough courage have been trying to express it but each time fall short to instead some idolatry expression that could never fully fulfill them anyway.
No it is only in the psalmist words do we see that one man was able to do what non other has. Capture the reality of our emotions. The ups and downs. The twists and turns so dramatic that the only thing keeping us on some sort of path would have to be supernatural. We find that in these words lies some sort of truth found within all of us. We have loved, hated, and despised in all sorts of ways and can not pretend that those feelings are not real. We have been alone, afraid, and even in despair longing for a miracle. Yet, why when we feel these things do we turn away and anticipate complete rejection from the only being that has felt all of those feelings and accepts us for who we are.
Believing over and over again that we are the only one in the room feeling as if no one truly understood where you were coming or going creates a vast hole within our very being. Yet, I would boldly say that the person sitting next to you knows what it feels like but can’t express the feelings any more than you yourself have been known too.
Loneliness, confusion, and hopelessness are all lies that the enemy tries to convince us that we could never relate to anyone. Have you looked around? Do you see women chasing after men or even women to find love. To find that person that could purposively fill that vast hole in their heart. They place themselves in situations that to the worlds standard should make them extremely happy, only to find out that it is still there. They turn to others, only to find that once again they have been hurt and left alone. What’s next? Substances? Addictions? Suicide through lonely cravings or painful expectations? Bitterness?
When does it end? By a knife or cross. Do you choose to wait so long that the only thoughts that bring life end it at the same time or do you hold out your hands and scream for the grace and mercy of God to save you.
Do you fall on your face and admit that you once again turned to jealousy and envy or do you run and hide. It is no wonder God had to ask Adam and Eve where they were once they had entered into this world of rare emotions. Is that what God is asking of you now. Where are you? Why are you hiding? Running from the only being that can truly fill that vast hole will never be a success. He is the only one that can truly understand your emotions and probably help you understand them.