Friday, September 02, 2011

Truth Time

I am my worst critic. There are few words to explain how often I find myself judged by my own false concept of what a woman should or should not be like. The image of what I'm suppose to be drives me to self obsessive thoughts and actions. When I'm not judging myself, I'm judging others trying to convince myself that I'm either better than them or need to strive to become more like them.

You may be thinking I'm being to harsh on myself. Well, I'm not sure I am harsh enough. It seems that the bible is clear that I am not to judge others but what about myself. Can one really judge themselves without first judging others?By what standard am I judging? Especially if the conclusion is self destructive or even boastful. Paul clearly states in both Roman's and 1 Corinthian's that judgement will come from the Lord and Him alone.
But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgement seat of God. For it is written, 'As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me. And every tongue shall give praise to God. So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.


These words bring such conviction to my heart and remind me of Jesus' words in Matthew 7. "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." How can I continue with such evil thoughts and practices knowing that I will never measure up to my own standards? And why would I want too? I have nothing to boast in that has not been first granted and gifted to me from my Lord. When I start to see that these arms and legs are blessings from God, my brain, my abilities, and even my "knowledge" come from the one above, I am baffled by my silliness to try to make myself look better to those around me. Why do I spend so much time worried about what others think of me or how I can look better to certain people?

I love Paul's words in 1 Corinthians.
But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord. Therefore, do not go on passing judgement before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.


In this world people want to see results. Men and women join gyms to get fit and beautiful, business' strive to out do each other and post higher sales records each year, and sadly Christian's pursue the appearance on "holiness" instead of spiritual transformation. But I wonder why it all matters? Why does it matter if I've lost 50 pounds in 2 years or will be finishing my degree in just a few months? Or if I have found the love of my life, or choose to raise my kids a certain way, or read certain authors books..... shouldn't it matter more what God's teaching me, showing me about myself, and how they can best encourage and uplift me to continue to strive towards spiritual growth. So when I confess that I'm my worst critic, it's with the heart wrenching reality that I have a faulty perspective of who Christ says that I am in Him and Him alone.

I'd like to conclude with just a few more words from Paul found in Romans.
Therefore in Christ Jesus I have found reason for boasting in things pertaining to God.


My prayer is that today you would choose to believe these words and find reassurance that the God who judges us all, has given you all that you need to be an amazing you! You are lacking nothing and in everything you have been enriched by the one that has died and rose again for your soul.
Romans Chapter 15
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another.

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Map of where I have traveled.