Reflections

Over the past month I've read several great books but one particular book stands out to me, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. 


Typically I read books centered around some sort of spiritual development or insight; however, this one was written by a women that has spent most of her professional life studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame within a university type setting and not really scriptural or theological. What first brought my attention to this book was a speaking engagement that she did for TED I stumbled across on youtube. (Check it out here if you want too http://www.brenebrown.com/welcome.) 


What makes this book so special? Well, this book helped me to realize a few things about myself and I thought I would share them with whoever actually reads this blog. Also this blog was inspired by a women's retreat I just went on focused on how we can spend our days directed towards becoming the women that God desires us to be. As an attempt to practice some of the things that I learned from the book and the retreat, I've broken the remaining parts of this blog up into 4 different sections. An introduction to the book's topic and three main areas she sees as essential to living the life that we were designed to live. I've included some of the things I underlined in the book and a reflection or prayer from that particular subject covered. 


Overview

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy- the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."

I can still hear their laughs, see their stares, and feel their pointing fingers. How is it that memories from 20 years ago can still have such a grip on my emotions, thoughts, actions, and reactions? Is this pain, shame, and brokenness buried under years of self effort and a life spent trying to prove my worthiness to kids that probably have no idea how much I was effect by their actions and/or the God of this universe who seemed to be so far away when all of this was happening to me? Why is that I intellectually know that the only true acknowledgement that I need comes from my Heavenly Father and His love and kindness and yet this self effort and brokenness still rears it's ugly head within me screaming to take control of my life? 




Courage

"Courage sounds great, but we need to talk about how it requires us to let go of what other people think, and for most of us, that's scary. Compassion is something we all want, but are we willing to look at why boundary-setting and saying no is a critical component of compassion? Are we willing to say no, even if we're disappointing someone? Belonging is an essential component of Wholehearted living, but first we have to cultivate self-acceptance-- why is this such a struggle?" 

"I think we've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line." 

"I've learned that playing down the exciting stuff doesn't take the pain away when it doesn't happen. It does, however, minimize the joy when it does happen. It also creates a lot of isolation. Once you've diminished the importance of something, your friends are not likely to call and say, "I'm sorry that didn't work out, I know you were excited about it." 

"Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver."

Lord, give me the courage to face my own darkness and live a life that is vulnerable to you and those that you've placed in my path. Help me to be honest when I am disappointed and/or excited about something. I know this type of living will take a lifetime but I choose to start now and trust that you will lead me safely down the path of sanctification. 

Compassion

"Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. It's also impossible to practice compassion from a place of resentment." 

How is that this women has captured your heart for loving others and yet those of us that sit within the church walls each Sunday can't seem to grasp what it means to truly have love and compassion for others the way that she describes? I am so grateful for your truth that brakes through to those that have hearts to understand and hear. I pray that would be able to love the way that you do, that I'd learn to think of myself the way that you do and to think of others the way that you do too. 

 Connection

Just because we're plugged in, doesn't mean we feel seen and heard.

Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.

Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to giving help.

Umm I'm not sure how she was able to put into words exactly how I feel but she did.... Lord, I pray that I'd really let these words sink in and that I'd start to see ways that I've divided the world into offering help and needing help. Brake down these walls of pride I've built up over the years and help me rebuild walls centered on your truth. 


Conclusion

To practice courage, compassion, and connection is to look at life and the people around us, and say, "I'm all in."

I'm all in! But help me to know what that looks like. Who, where, and how I'm too spend my days. I don't want to go to the left or to the right without first hearing from you. 
Romans 8:26-28

"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it and would love to hear your thoughts. I'm even up for some coffee sometime if were ever in the same city. 


Brandy