Purpose and Passion

Three years ago my dad turned to me and asked me what would make a group of people from around the world join Youth With A Mission. He was amazed at the passion that he saw as hundreds of young and old people celebrated the beauty of cultures all around the world during the opening celebration for the new quarter. I sat there wondering how to respond to his question. Did he want an answer or was he just making a statement/observation? Now three years later I sit in my apartment in Colorado Springs ready to answer that question with confidence. It's purpose and passion.

Why am I telling you this? Simply because my purpose all those years was misguided. Sure I had the knowledge of salvation but I had no love (passion).

See I loved Jesus, knew God, and believed in the Holy Spirit. I studied scriptures regularly and lead bible studies, small groups, and worship times but had no purpose. I didn't understand the significance of the cross. I didn't understand the mercy that I didn't deserve.
Joining YWAM I was looking for that purpose. I wanted to walk into some african village and have the people embrace the words that I said as truth. My message to them was to turn from their evil ways and believe in Jesus as their Savior. I pictured myself standing on some street corner preaching at people as they walked by.

However, I never made it to Africa and I never once told someone that they needed to repent from their evil ways and believe in Jesus while standing on a street corner. Instead I taught English in the middle east to 17 Muslim men, who for all I knew could have been in the class to make sure the white girl wasn't their to evangelize. From the middle east I made it to central Asia. In Nepal I never once told anyone to repent from their evil ways and believe in Jesus but I did take lots of pictures and interview the Christian workers there for a project to help them gain financial support from western believers. In Thailand I taught English, went to the Zoo with some Thai Buddhist, and road Elephants after performing a few of my songs for 400 Thai college students.

Finally after three years and nine countries I can answer my dad's question. It has to be Jesus because if it isn't then all that we do is pointless. If I was sitting in that place again with the knowledge that I now know I would say this to my dad.

Dad,
I am here because I want to glorify God with my life. He deserves it. My life is too small of a price to pay for the price that he already paid. I can not say that about the others in this room but I pray that is why they are here also. See Dad, God has given me life and purpose and because of that I have a passion to share that love with others around the world. It's not because I think that I am better than others or that I in my flesh have something to offer people but instead it is because I believe that as people come to know me they also can see Jesus in me. See I have made mistakes and hurt people and understand what it is to be at the lowest point possible. I know the power of forgiveness and healing that comes from the death and resurrection of Jesus and with that power I walk each day with the purpose and passion that Christ did as he walked amongst us. My life purpose has become the very reason why Jesus came....to seek and save the lost... and that Dad is why I am here. 

I am no longer with YWAM but I believe that those years will always be precious to me. Yes I saw the world but more than that I saw God's heart for the Lost in the midst of doing things that at the time didn't seem so evangelistic. 

BK

Sacrifice

The sacrifice of Christ is something that I think very little of in terms of literal meaning. I realize the christian terminology and implication most days but highly doubt that I have come to grasp just exactly what God had in mind when He sent His son to die for me.
The word sacrifice in the english dictionary is defined like this-
sacrifice |ˈsakrəˌfīs|
noun
an act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to God or to a divine or supernatural figure

• an animal, person, or object offered in this way.
• an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy

The second part of the meaning has much more significance in how I view the value of my life. God the creator of the universe sacrificed his Son Jesus Christ not because he wanted to show off his worth and value but instead because he was making the biggest gesture one can make on how much they value human life. The importance and worth of one person to God was such that he was willing to lay it all down.

Am I willing to do the same in response to His sacrifice? If I am what does that look like in my everyday life?

Another challenging thought... do I value Human life the way that God did when he decided to sacrifice Jesus on the Cross. Do I see my brothers and sisters as worthy creatures of Jesus sacrifice. Am I loving and caring towards them in the way that God would see fit?

See my friends there is so much to think about from just one small word and yet if I didn't take the time I would never have known what the true meaning of sacrifice really was.

So today my prayer is...
"God, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships."

All my worship and admiration towards the one True and Holy God.
-Brandy

Matters of the heart

So many times I find myself sitting in a room feeling as if no one truly understood where I was coming from, let alone where I was going. Did anyone honestly care that my heart, the most precious of things, was slowly being torn apart by my own ambition to feel love and acceptance. This longing so deep within that words themselves dare not to address them. For centuries those that had enough courage have been trying to express it but each time fall short to instead some idolatry expression that could never fully fulfill them anyway.
No it is only in the psalmist words do we see that one man was able to do what non other has. Capture the reality of our emotions. The ups and downs. The twists and turns so dramatic that the only thing keeping us on some sort of path would have to be supernatural. We find that in these words lies some sort of truth found within all of us. We have loved, hated, and despised in all sorts of ways and can not pretend that those feelings are not real. We have been alone, afraid, and even in despair longing for a miracle. Yet, why when we feel these things do we turn away and anticipate complete rejection from the only being that has felt all of those feelings and accepts us for who we are.
Believing over and over again that we are the only one in the room feeling as if no one truly understood where you were coming or going creates a vast hole within our very being. Yet, I would boldly say that the person sitting next to you knows what it feels like but can’t express the feelings any more than you yourself have been known too.
Loneliness, confusion, and hopelessness are all lies that the enemy tries to convince us that we could never relate to anyone. Have you looked around? Do you see women chasing after men or even women to find love. To find that person that could purposively fill that vast hole in their heart. They place themselves in situations that to the worlds standard should make them extremely happy, only to find out that it is still there. They turn to others, only to find that once again they have been hurt and left alone. What’s next? Substances? Addictions? Suicide through lonely cravings or painful expectations? Bitterness?
When does it end? By a knife or cross. Do you choose to wait so long that the only thoughts that bring life end it at the same time or do you hold out your hands and scream for the grace and mercy of God to save you.
Do you fall on your face and admit that you once again turned to jealousy and envy or do you run and hide. It is no wonder God had to ask Adam and Eve where they were once they had entered into this world of rare emotions. Is that what God is asking of you now. Where are you? Why are you hiding? Running from the only being that can truly fill that vast hole will never be a success. He is the only one that can truly understand your emotions and probably help you understand them.