You Are More

You Are More by Tenth Avenue North



I have lots of thoughts on this song but would love to hear what yours are first.

B

In the beginning

I bet you thought my title was referring to Genesis.
Nope... my intent for today's blog is to share how I personally discovered my true beginning. My journey of figuring out what it meant to love and know the only true Father started August 5, 2000, with this section of scripture from Matthew.
Matthew 6:31-34

What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

It's amazing how I can still remember sitting at this small, super hot and stuffy church, somewhere between San Francisco and my parents house in Escondido. The smell... the feel of the night... the emotions... and even the moment that I realized that I needed to put my trust in the Lord. Trusting that His Son's blood would cover my sins and allow me to have a real relationships with the Father that created me, still seems surreal to me. I am sure that over the past 10 years I have prayed that prayer a million times. But on that night I knew for a fact I experienced God in a way that I never will again. I am also sure that on that night, I fell in love for the first time. I fell in love with Jesus and have fallen a little more each day since then. However, it hasn't been easy and at times I don't feel like I love Him or that He loves me... but there are times when I need to just realize that feelings aren't everything.

“You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.”
Pearl S. Buck quotes (American author, 1938 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1892-1973)

I have grown in my understanding as this journey has progressed. I have come to know that He is constant and stable, drawing me closer to His face. This is why it is my prayer that we may all have the strength and courage to run to that hiding place with our Lord. To allow him to draw us closer to him so we can look upon His face and experience the only true Joy that can sustain us and bring us to life. May this blog encourage you to remember your beginning. I would love to hear about the day that started it all for you.... feel free to share if you want.

B

Lonely

For the past few days I have found myself discontent and distracted but really I just didn't want to recognize what was really going on...there is a ... loneliness. This morning I read this in one of my many Henri Nouwen books and daily mediations.

God is calling you to deep, personal intimacy, an intimacy that is wonderful and very demanding. God asks you to let go of many things...you must live it with trust, standing tall. You must try to say, 'Yes, I am lonely, but this particular loneliness sets me on the road to intimacy with God'.

Now, I'm not a crier but as I sat and read over this something inside me broke. I realized that no matter how many times I heard the words I Love You from others there still was this screaming void inside me. I "knew" I couldn't find fulfillment in the words of my loved ones because they are only given to me as symbols of how much my True Father loves me. I "know" that God loves me but I find it hard to allow my heart to feel loved. And to have that love sink in.

So today I am challenged to not only allow the love from others to sink in but also the love from my Heavenly Father. That is where the healing will begin and where I will be able to love others the way that I want to and appreciate and value the love that they offer me.

Brandy