Present at my own funeral

If you know me at all, you know that I have tons of dreams, goals, and ideas for my life. You have probably heard me recant one of these in such a way as to try and even convince the Queen of England that I was beyond a shadow of a doubt convince it was my life calling (regardless of how unrealistic it really was). Now you're probably thinking that this post is another one of those moments and that I have some how managed to trick myself into believing that it would be remotely possible to be present at your own funeral. Come on, I'm fully aware of my ridiculousness but even that's over the top.

So why such a morbid title? Well, I picked up a new read and the first chapter asked this question, "What would you want your spouse to say about you at your funeral?" The very concept seemed so far fetched for me to think about, considering I am not married. But as I kept reading the chapter the author convinced me of the worthiness of asking yourself this question. Just think about what it would be like to stand in the back of rows and rows of chairs full of people coming to pay their respect to this awesome, amazing, brilliant women.... listening to them recant all the wonderful ways that you encouraged them, loved them, and gave of your time and money for their benefit. You truly had achieved being like Jesus... okay so I mentioned that I am ridiculous, right? :)

As your standing there listening to these stories, what exactly would you want to hear? As your spouse stands up, takes the mic and begins to describe your marriage, your relationship with others, and how you loved those around you, would you be honored or ashamed? Better yet, would Christ be gloried? You see this question was posed to encourage women in their marriages to stop nagging and discouraging their husband and living each moment on purpose, to edify their husbands, to bring Christ glory and reflect His true purpose of marriage. However, being single I found tremendous benefit from asking myself this question and applying it where I am at. 

When my "brother" Brian died a little of a year and half ago, I remember being surrounded by hundreds of people celebrating his life and sharing so many amazing stories of how friendly and giving he was. As the balloons were released into the air, one of the biker guys revved his motorcycle resulting in 5 minutes of loud shouts of admiration and expressions of mourning. What was it about this man that everyone seemed to love so much? This is not an easy blog to write because it has forced me to come face to face with the reality of what I believe.

The past week I had my students memorize Ephesians 2:13

"But now in Jesus Christ you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ." 

I too memorized it and as I've thought about it over and over again a heart of gratefulness and reassurance has sprung up within me. Romans 3:25 talks about our need for a savior and how Jesus' death and blood is the solution to our eternal problem. Without believing in Him as my savior I have no hope of being brought into the resurrection. Jesus clearly states this is John,

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the Kingdom of God." John 3:5

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him." John 3:16-17

 These are just two of the passages that speak directly to our condition and need for a Savior and if I truly believe this I must conclude that Brian did not live his life as one that believed. In Luke we find an even more direct statement,

"Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and He said to them, 'Thus it is written, that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead on the third day, and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.'" Luke 24:45-47

I can not be certain if God opened Brian's mind and heart to understand the Scriptures, only God can judge a mans heart, but scripture is also clear that the way a man lives his life is a testimony of what he believes. The fruit that is born from his actions, thoughts, and belief will be that of the Holy Spirits rather than envy, malice, or corruption (Galatians 5:16-26) and sadly I didn't see that in his life.

Yes, it was a tragedy that Brian died; however, it is more of a tragedy that at the end of his life those that he loved were left wondering where he was at in regards to belief in the only true Savior. And honestly as I listened to the shouts and wallowing from all of his friends and family, my mourning came from not having the opportunity to see true fruit from his life and a solid understanding of his love for my Savior. My prayer is that he did believe and that God had mercy on his soul, but more it is now that I would have the boldness to declare that we all need a Savior. We all need to turn from our selfishness and realize that our true purpose for being on this earth is to bring Christ glory by believing in Him, trusting Him, and having complete assurance in His offer of salvation. We are His inheritance and I want it to be said of me on my funeral that I lived my life in such a way as to make my Savior say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints." Ephesian 1:18)

May you be encouraged today to lay aside everything that distracts you from dedicating your life to being a saint that makes their Heavenly Father proud of the inheritance He is giving to His Son Jesus.

Grateful for His grace,
Brandy