Fighting Against Death

On my run this morning, my prayers took a different turn than expected. As my route curved along the dirt road in front of where I live, I was reminded of how important it is to fight for the energy to keep going. Some days it is easy to find motivation to get up and run 3.2 miles, yet other days my flesh longs to stay back and have a lazy morning. For instance it took about 10 minutes this morning to psyche myself up, finally I was off but my mind was playing tricks on me. To complete the 3.2 miles, I have to pass my drive way three times. Each time I found myself coming up with a list of reasons why it would make sense to head in. Each time I thought of something new; (first) laundry needs to be done, (second) dog needs to be brought in, (third) internet guy may show up while I am taking a shower, should probably take a shower earlier. O and each time my favorite one would come to mind… man I really need coffee. J What is that?!?!?!?

As the reality that I needed to become more disciplined in my exercise habits sunk in, I tried to remind myself why I was out there to begin with. Running 3.2 miles doesn’t take that long and I know that it is healthy for me. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that working out is something that our bodies need. In fact, it doesn’t take much more than a simple walk up a flight of stairs to see that our bodies need to be worked in order to work. Ultimately, I ended up asking myself why I fight against what I know is good for me. Well, I have a hunch that it’s because I lack discipline and live in a fallen world. It is natural for our flesh to want what brings death. Sadly, we are sinfully programmed to long for things that are not going to bring life, if we allow our flesh to take over that’s exactly what we will get. After thinking about this all morning, my lack of motivation to be disciplined in exercise can also be true of any discipline in other areas, especially ones that are fighting directly against death.

Since become a Christian it has become common to have others ask me if I am reading God’s word. After 10 years one would assume that this habit would have become consistent; however, there are still days, weeks, and seasons when digging into God’s word is not something that I wake up joyfully willing to do. I have to fight hard to make myself realize that there is ALWAYS time for God’s word. Not to sound harsh, but if I can find time to breath I can find time to spend on mediating and feeding on God’s word. It is humorous that some of the same excuses I come up with while passing my driveway on my exercise journey come to mind when I am sitting down to read my bible. It is so tempting to say that I can read later, knowing full well that more often than not, later never becomes the present.

Yesterday as I read chapter one of Paul’s letter to the Philippians, I was struck by Paul’s confession of wanting to depart and be with Christ because to him it would be far better than here. (Now bare with me as I make the connection to this desire for more discipline in my life and Paul’s desire to be with Jesus in heaven, I swear I can bring all the noodles together. J) 

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.” (Philippians 1: 21-26)

In order to long for life after death with Christ, Paul must have a pretty good understanding of what that reward will look like. The very concept of heaven and being in Jesus’ presence seems so foreign to me, that Paul’s desires to depart from here seems odd. I don’t think it’s my lack of desire for Jesus that makes Paul’s statement seem odd, but rather my shallow understanding of just how amazing it will be to be surrounded by all of creation worshiping, admonishing, and bringing ultimate glory to our King.

When I think about the effort and energy it takes to wake up each morning and get out on my journey, I wonder if like Paul I would find it easier to finish the race if I had the end goal in mind. The 5K run up to the Shrine is only a few weeks away and although it is a short-term goal, I want to beat my time from last year. Secondly, I have worked for 2 years to lose weight, in order to continue going in the right direction I must keep up my workout habits. Also, what about the fact that I want to one day run and play with my kids and my grand kids? You see how there are plenty of short and long term goals to keep me motivated towards the finish line.

It was probably while watching Finding Nemo over the weekend, my subconscious started thinking about all of this. I realized that sometimes it is important to just tell ourselves that we must keep swimming, no matter how much the current wants to pull us back. We can’t give up the fight to live because, like Paul, our eternal reward is waiting and as I enter into His throne room I want to know that I spent every breath on earth bringing Him glory. Just thinking in light of eternity helps me to understand more fully Paul’s desire to be in Christ’s presence hearing the angels sing, “Holy, Holy, Holy!!!!!”

It is my prayer that you too would hear God’s voice calling you to discipline on whatever journey you find yourself running today. Don’t give up the fight to seeing Him glorified through your life because it would be my pleasure to have you standing next to me singing to our most high King.

Philippians 3:12-14

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. “ 

Brandy