Sometimes It Just Seems to be Too Much

Sometimes, Lord,
it just seems to be too much:
too much violence, too much fear;
too much of demands and problems;
too much of broken dreams and broken lives'
too much of war and slums and dying;
too much of greed and squishy fatness
and the sounds of people devouring each other and the earth;
too much of stale routines and quarrels,
unpaid bills and dead ends;
too much of words lobbed in to explode and leaving shredded hearts and lacerated souls;
too much of turned-away backs and yellow silence, red rage and the bitter taste of ashes in my mouth.
Sometimes the very air seems scorched by threats and rejection and decay until there is nothing but to inhale pain and exhale confusion.
Too much of darkness, Lord, too much of cruelty and selfishness and indifference...
Too much, Lord, to much, too bloody, bruising, brain-washing much.
Or is it too little, too little of compassion, too little of courage, of daring, of persistence, of sacrifice; too little of music and laughter and celebration?
O God, make of me some nourishment for these starved times, some food for my brothers and sisters who are hungry for gladness and hope, that, being bread for them, I may also be fed and be full.


As I read this poem I am aware of the heavy reality that over a billion people live each day with less than a dollar and I just today spent $11 on lunch. How can I continually forget these facts and complain about my need. Even after seeing it face to face I struggle to lay down my own selfishness.

O Lord, help me to believe that inspite of all of this evil in the world you are a loving and compassionate God that wants to give life abundantly to each of your children.

YWAM Kona

New gifts, talents, and passions surface during three-month period in Kona, Hawaii. From March to June of this year I was staff at Youth With A Mission’s campus in Kona. Through several different opportunities I wrote for two different magazines, and began the first draft of a book idea I had long forgotten.

I was a part of the communications department along with four other full-time workers. Two of whom have experience in professional newspaper writing. The Transformation magazine is YWAM Kona’s main way to communicate to the whole organization and where I was able to write my first obituary. Global magazine is based out of the Colorado Springs base and I was able to interview two other staff members who recently returned from a trip to Pakistan
Along with the magazine work I began meeting with the writers group once a week to help read through and edit the book I have recently begun. It is a slow process but my time each week was encouraging and helpful.

Uniquip Overview May 14- June 1

Nearly 16,000 staff, 18,000 students, and 1000 locations make up Youth With A Mission. These drastically large numbers make it obvious that unity within diversity would be a hard feat to accomplish. Taking on the challenge during the month of May the global leadership of YWAM held a three weeklong seminar that brought people from all over the world together. Each week was filled with several different speakers and topics to choose from.
I chose Foundations of the University of the Nation, Destiny By Design, and facilitating “One on One’s.” The first week dealt with several of the main questions people ask about the University. Why isn’t it accredited? How does a university fit within a missionary organization like YWAM?
One of the main things that I took away from this week was that one of the reasons why we are not accredited is because we offer education to third world refugees who do not meet the Diploma or GED requirement set by the accreditation company. Knowing several U of N students in Jordan, Nepal, and Thailand I am well aware of the blessing it is to these people to have the ability to get a higher education.
Many of the dreams and visions that have been birthed during my time in Kona came from the second week Destiny By Design. Recalling things that as a child I liked to do and taking spiritual gifts tests helped to start the process of living according to what God’s original intent was for my life. Reminding that he designed me uniquely in my mother’s womb and has a perfect plan for my life. One of the main ways that God works through our students’ lives is by the facilitation of One on One’s. My intention on taking this topic was to grow and develop a better understanding of the role a one on one leader. Overall, the three weeks allowed me to better understand YWAM and God’s heart for individuals.