It's surreal. I am stuck hundreds of miles away for my family and friends that are going through this but here are my thoughts... Brian Wolfin, died August 14, 2010, leaving behind so many loved ones. When I look back over the past 20 years of knowing Brian my heart is filled with such sorrow that he is gone. It is true that time will heal the wounds but I am glad that it wont erase the memories. Memories from my childhood, adolescents, and adulthood that Brian played such a vital part.
As a child I can remember my brother Will coming home with 2 strays. A dog, whom my mother insisted we call Bugsy; and Brian, the new friend he had made in school. At the time I didn’t like either of them. Dogs were scary and boys had cooties; however, I realized that on that day Brian would not just be a kid that my brother was friends with in elementary school, he would be “adopted” into our family as a son, a grandson, and as a brother.
Over the next couple of years, I can remember him and my brother ganging up on my sister and I; throwing worms at us, locking us out, and pelting us with those super spike green balls that fell off the tree in our front yard. The four of us would rake the leaves in the front yard into one big pile and then jump into the center. Brian and Will of course would end up ruining the pile by their boyish wrestling matches, while Tiff and I began to rake the leaves into a pile again. As we moved from house to house, Brian just tagged along. Getting yelled at when he misbehaved and praised when he hit the winning ball of the little league game.
As we all continued to grow up, our fun times began to look very different. Brian and Will got too cool to play with us younger kids and they began to go to “cool” kid parties full of alcohol and drugs. I remember one of the times I tagged along, of course, I wanted to fit in so I got super drunk; on the way home Brian looked straight at me with this I’m your big brother listen to me face and said, “Brandy, you are better than this. You don’t want this kind of life.” Those words have stayed with me and will always stay with me. It was just like him to always see the potential in others. Although he was great at making others laugh and at giving advice, he was especially good at know how to love others. He knew how to see beyond the hard shells of others and would love them for who they could be rather than giving up on them.
Just a few years back I had the opportunity to visit California for a little while. Brian had taken over my bedroom, which doesn’t surprise me, he had basically been living with us for 15 years anyways, but offered to sleep on the couch while I was home. One evening he came in and wanted to hear all about the places I had been and where I was going next. We talked for hours and I handed him one of my favorite books, Is that really you God? I have no clue if he read it but it is my prayer that he did and when he did that he believed every part of it. For if he did, I know I will see him again.
Brian was a man that I will always admire. I am sad that his two children will not get the chance to be loved by him, that Sether’s (his son) will not get to have his father watch from the stands as he hits his first home run, or Sarah (his daughter) will not get the chance to be worried about what her dad will do to the boy she is bringing home for the first time. (I’m pretty sure Brian was planning on having at least three shot guns!) I am sad that we have lost our brother, our son, our grandson, and our friend. But I know that he was put here for reason and that he embraced that reason. He embraced every change he had to love and that is all that matters in this world. We all have one chance to love and Brian Wolfin embraced that chance. We will miss him.
