Why am I telling you this? Simply because my purpose all those years was misguided. Sure I had the knowledge of salvation but I had no love (passion).
See I loved Jesus, knew God, and believed in the Holy Spirit. I studied scriptures regularly and lead bible studies, small groups, and worship times but had no purpose. I didn't understand the significance of the cross. I didn't understand the mercy that I didn't deserve.
Joining YWAM I was looking for that purpose. I wanted to walk into some african village and have the people embrace the words that I said as truth. My message to them was to turn from their evil ways and believe in Jesus as their Savior. I pictured myself standing on some street corner preaching at people as they walked by.
However, I never made it to Africa and I never once told someone that they needed to repent from their evil ways and believe in Jesus while standing on a street corner. Instead I taught English in the middle east to 17 Muslim men, who for all I knew could have been in the class to make sure the white girl wasn't their to evangelize. From the middle east I made it to central Asia. In Nepal I never once told anyone to repent from their evil ways and believe in Jesus but I did take lots of pictures and interview the Christian workers there for a project to help them gain financial support from western believers. In Thailand I taught English, went to the Zoo with some Thai Buddhist, and road Elephants after performing a few of my songs for 400 Thai college students.
Finally after three years and nine countries I can answer my dad's question. It has to be Jesus because if it isn't then all that we do is pointless. If I was sitting in that place again with the knowledge that I now know I would say this to my dad.
Dad,
I am here because I want to glorify God with my life. He deserves it. My life is too small of a price to pay for the price that he already paid. I can not say that about the others in this room but I pray that is why they are here also. See Dad, God has given me life and purpose and because of that I have a passion to share that love with others around the world. It's not because I think that I am better than others or that I in my flesh have something to offer people but instead it is because I believe that as people come to know me they also can see Jesus in me. See I have made mistakes and hurt people and understand what it is to be at the lowest point possible. I know the power of forgiveness and healing that comes from the death and resurrection of Jesus and with that power I walk each day with the purpose and passion that Christ did as he walked amongst us. My life purpose has become the very reason why Jesus came....to seek and save the lost... and that Dad is why I am here.
I am no longer with YWAM but I believe that those years will always be precious to me. Yes I saw the world but more than that I saw God's heart for the Lost in the midst of doing things that at the time didn't seem so evangelistic.
BK
