Curve balls

So much of life is unpredictable, so why do we try to plan and control "our" lives. My life seems to be full of curve balls, nothing like the curve ball that I received last summer when Brian died, but enough that it has me realizing again how little of life we actually can predict and control.

In Feb. of 2009 I wrote a blog on what the word Sacrifice meant to me as a follower of Christ. http://brandykimes.blogspot.com/2009/02/sacrifice.html


Tonight I was challenged again to mediate on what it meant to sacrifice something. In Genesis 22, we are given a great example of what it looks like to truly lay down anything and everything for the God of the Universe. It's not the greatest example, because Jesus dying on the cross is the ultimate representation of what a sacrifice truly is. However, the journey that Isaac endured and the statement he made to God and the world when he laid his only son on that alter, is a foreshadowing of the sacrifice God was willing to make for us.

So, why bring up sacrifice in a blog that started out about life's curve balls. At the core of what I am struggling with is my own flesh. I have come to realize the depth of my desire to control my own life. In fact, it isn't the stuff in my life or the relationships that need to be placed on the alter but instead it is me. I need to lay my selfish desires to control my own life at the foot of the cross and be willing to sacrifice myself to the Lord regardless of the outcome.

Let's look at the difference between the Genesis passage and the Gospel. Isaac was willing to go through with it but God provided a lamb at the last minute. He didn't know that there would be a lamb, which makes me wonder if there had not been would this speak less of the character and nature of God? And would the story still reveal the same message? Would it still communicate that we are suppose to live in a way that nothing takes a higher place in our hearts that God Himself? Yes, I believe it would. Isn't the Gospel message all about the character and nature of God... and didn't Jesus die. The sacrificing that takes place in both Isaac's life and Jesus' is a statement that declares that all of our lives must be submitted beneath the mercies of the Lord. It is a sacrifice stating that life here on earth means nothing compared to the glory of doing the will of His Father.

That's my prayer. As life seems to be going in so many different directions and I am realizing how little control I really have, I pray that I would sacrifice my selfish desire to do my own will, for the will of the Father.

"Lord, don't give up on me. Don't let me stay the same as I am today, instead help me to learn what it means to be more like you. It is my greatest desire to bring you glory and if that means laying down my life, I will. Please, take away these selfish desires to control so many areas of my life. I don't know what tomorrow will hold and I can't hold onto the things and people of this world."

Reflections on John 14

My goal was to read all the gospels before Easter. Didn't happen. I got through the first three books and up to chapter 10 of John. Today I read to chapter 14 and have come to a deeper understanding of how God works and how he uses time to orchestrate just what His children need to hear and mediate on. Had I read this chapter just because I was trying to finish before Easter I don't think it would have spoken to me so deeply and intentionally.

My week hasn't been hard or frustrating but there has been this desire to know God the way that I used too. To have this underlying passion for the Holy One and to live my life as someone that experiences Him with His fullness. Isn't that was the resurrection opened up to those that believed? Why does it seem like I can go hours, days, or months without experiences Christ's great majesty?

Take some time to mediate on these words found in John and like me, your heart may be softened to His greatness and His Spirit may speak right to the areas in your life that you need Him to the most. I pray that you may experience the true resurrection of Christ and that your heart and soul will be filled with the full knowledge of who He is and how much He loves you. May you be encouraged in your walk and may you once again have the passion and desire for your 1st love. Don't give up on Him because He has not given up on you.

John 14

Jesus Comforts His Disciples

"Do not let your heart be troubled; [a]believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way where I am going. Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

Oneness with the Father

"If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him. Philip said to Him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us. Jesus said to him, "Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, 'Show us the Father'? Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. Believe Me that (P)I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."

Role of the Spirit

"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him." Judas (not Iscariot) said to Him, "Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?" Jesus answered and said to him, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me. These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. You heard that I said to you, 'I go away, and I will come to you ' If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced because I go to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens, you may believe. I will not speak much more with you, for the ruler of the world is coming, and he has nothing in Me; but so that the world may know that I love the Father, I do exactly as the Father commanded Me Get up, let us go from here.

Come Home Running

I know that Easter is all about Jesus' resurrection but being that I am on a crusade to truly understand every holiday that we celebrate (whether culturally or spiritually) I wanted to dig a little deeper into what Easter is really all about.

According to one website

The timing of the Christian celebration of Easter is linked to the Jewish celebration of the Passover. Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread were observed by the ancient Israelites early in each new year. (The Jewish people followed the Persian/Babylonian calendar and started each year with the Spring Equinox circa MAR-21). "Equinox" means "equal night;" on that date of the year, the night and day are approximately equal. The name "Passover" was derived from the actions of the angel of death as described in the book of Exodus. The angel "passed over" the homes of the Jews which were marked with the blood obtained from a ritual animal sacrifice. The same angel exterminated the first born(s) of every family whose doorway was not so marked.. Passover was the most important feast of the Jewish calendar, celebrated at the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox. (The Equinox typically occurs on March 20, 21 or 22 according to our present calendar.)
The Gospels differ on the date of Jesus' execution:
The Synoptic gospels (Mark, Matthew and Luke) state that Jesus' last supper was a Seder - a Passover celebration at the start of 15th Nisan, just after sundown. (Jewish days begin at sundown and continue until the next sundown). Jesus was executed later that day and died about 3 PM.
The gospel of John states that the last supper at the beginning of 14th Nisan. Jesus is recorded as having died on the afternoon of 14th Nisan.

All the different sites I read helped me to realize that the date doesn't really matter. What really matters is that as a church body we are choosing to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord. That we are saying to the world that "Christ is risen" and asking of those around us to recognize that "He is risen, indeed"

Some interesting side notes:

Over the centuries, these religious observances have been supplemented by popular customs, many of were incorporated from springtime fertility celebrations of European and Middle Eastern pagan religion. Rabbits and eggs, for example, are widely-used pagan symbols for fertility. Christians view the Easter eggs as symbols of joy and celebration (as they were forbidden during the fast of Lent) and of new life and resurrection. A common custom is to hide brightly colored eggs for children to find.

I read through the Gospels as a way to prepare for Easter. While reading John 11 I was struck by the words Jesus used as he brought lazarus back from the dead.

John 11:25-27

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?"She said to Him, "Yes, Lord; I have believed that You are the Christ, the Son of God, even He who comes into the world."

John 11:40

Jesus said to her, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?"

It is my prayer that we would all recognize that Jesus is indeed the resurrection and the life and that we would believe in Him and see His glory spread throughout all of the earth.

Your self will not satisfy you for long

For me a part of preparing for the Easter season has meant reread the Gospels. I am currently reading through Luke from the Message version. As I read this passage I thought of all my friends and family that do not know or see how Jesus could be their Messiah. It's so easy for me to see how miracles it was that the God of the universe would step down from his glorious throne and come here to suffer for his children. It's probably because I see how it is not a story of laws and rules but of love. God's unending and unfathomable love! Christ's dedication to seeing us come to know how compassionate and graceful the Father truly is. And the only way that we could enter into a right relationship with the most Holy God. O and just to top it off it once Jesus ascended he was able to send the Spirit. Now that's icing on the cake!

Anyways, heres a passage that stood out to me today. Please read it with an open mind and ear to whatever the Holy Spirit would desire you to walk away challenged with.

Luke 6:24-38
But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.
What you have is all you'll ever get.
And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.
There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.


There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular. To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that. I tell you, love your enemies.

Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind. Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.

My prayer for you is that today you would not turn away but turn towards the only one that can truly love you and give you what you are looking for in this life.

Brandy Kimes

It's my birthday

The festivities began early this year with a lovely lunch with a co-worker. Then an amazing drive up to the Rockies/Diamond back game with my wonderful boyfriend, only to find out that although the weather had been in the 80's the day before it was now snowing. My sister, brother in law, and several other very loving people were already up at the game, soaking wet and slowing starting to freeze before the game was actually canceled. Because we now had Sunday night open, we got to see "The King's Speech" with Papa and Susi, whom I truly appreciate and feel like they are a wonderful example of a husband and wife totally in love with Christ and each other.

As we watched the movie I began thinking of all the people that I truly admired for overcoming different physical, emotional, or even like the King, auditory. At different points in the movie I was drawn back to this idea that we all have something that we are overcoming whether that be something that is on display for the world to see or these inner wounds that haunt only us. We all have something. We all have a choose to allow that something to ruin us, to steal our voice or make us someone great, someone that people admire, and ultimately someone that brings glory to the most High King.

As part of the birthday celebration I got too spend the day up in woodland park with my boyfriend. As we sat looking out at Manitou Lake, I realized how much I admired him for the things that he has overcome and the strength that he has found in God to overcome certain things. I am grateful for the example he is of a man that doesn't settle and doesn't allow the enemy to hold him captive. He is a fighter and I love that about him. In fact as we talked about different things I thought about all the things that I have been faced with over the years and whether or not I had truly overcame them. I can see several things that I would say I have conquered with the help of God and other very compassionate believers; however, I can see other areas that I pushed under the carpet and have yet to face.
So as I sit here at my favorite Starbucks on the morning of my birth 26 years ago I am challenged to face my wounds and struggles. To not let them steal my voice but to instead allow them to transform me into the women that God desires me to be. Henri Nouwen was said,

When I feel lonely, forgotten, rejected, or despised, I can easily be tempted to respond to these painful experiences with anger, resentment, and a desire for revenge. Much violence in our world is a desperate acting-out of that wounded inner self. But if I am willing to claim my woundedness as my unique way to the resurrection, then I may start caring for my wounds, knowing that they will identify me in my eternal life in God. What does this 'caring for my wounds' mean? It means acknowleding them as revelations of my unique way of being human, listening to them as teachers who help me find my own way to holiness, sharing them as a source of consolation and comfort, and allowing others to pour oil on them and bind them in times of great pain. Thus I proclaim that my wounds are not causes for embarrassment, but the source of a joyful acknowledgement of my unique vocation to journey with Jesus through suffering to the glory of God"

It is my prayer that as another year has been given to me, I would be a woman that faces my wounds and allows God to use me to encourage and love on others. May we all experience God's deliverance and healing as we point our faces towards the only one that can truly heal us and give us the freedom to truly live. He is the rock on which we can stand.

Brandy