12 hours of prayer

After 12 hours of horrific car trouble my wonderful Kia Sorento pulled into what resembled a reasonably safe hotel right on the border of New Mexico and Arizona. The sun had just set and although every part of me wanted to keep going, I was strongly encouraged to rest and just start again in the morning. For hours my car had decided to stop accelerating 22 times. From what I could tell it wasn't triggered by going a certain speed, driving a specific amount of time, or keeping the RPM's up to high. It just stopped accelerating. Each time my heart would sink, as I realized that nothing I did was going to change the fact that my car just didn't want to go forward anymore. The first few times I was so scared. Going 85 mph on the highway is scary enough, but to all the sudden lose the ability to keep up with the herd of cars around me was frightening. Trying to find a pull off on the side of highway 25 as you go down the Raton Pass is nearly impossible and if it wasn't for the fact that I could coast going 35 mph for a few hundred feet it wouldn't have happened. Each time my car would decide to act up it meant pulling over for about 5 minutes, letting it reset, then trying to accelerate back up to the appropriate speed to not get ran over by the other travels.

What a way to start a new journey in my life. My goal before I left that morning was to make it to Phoenix, Az. and then travel on to my parents house the following day. Spend a few days with my parents, soaking in their awesome love, and then travel north to Clovis, Ca to discover what life would be like living and working there. Now, as I sat in Gallup, New Mexico without any desire to sit in my car again I had to decide if I was going to push myself to stick with the plan or be flexible. Flexibility doesn't come natural for me. I have my plan and honestly when it doesn't work out the way that I picture it my attitude stinks. Even more than that I struggle with not wanting to disappoint others. I knew that my parents were expecting me, everyone back in Colorado was told that was why I was leaving five days early, and what would everyone say if I didn't go there first. Hadn't I told everyone this was what I was I doing and wasn't that enough to convince God to let my yes be yes and no be no. Didn't he know the plan? What part of the memo hadn't he received? Aren't we told to pray for things and expect them to turn out just as we prayed? Come on God, why did my car stop accelerating again? Was my faith not strong enough?

In the hours of driving that day I had so many frustrating prayers and conversations with God. One time I listed off all the things that I could think of to be grateful for, just to see if I could some how convince God to fix my car. For 48 minutes gratefulness rolled off my tongue only to result in yet another episode of ugly car syndrome. Seriously, there was no convincing God to just let me make it to Phoenix so pulling into what seemed like the safest and cheapest hotel in Gallup become my solution. Exhausted and ready to just be done, I laid in bed trying to process everything and at some point during the night I realized that it wasn't about my car issues at all. Fear, stress, and tension blanketed my body. My teeth hurt from holding my jaw so tightly, my shoulders felt like I was carrying an extra 100 pounds and my bank account couldn't possibly afford a massive car repair. Having barely enough money to start my trip, God sure was wanting me to trust that he would show up.  

Why was life so hard and not going according to the plan. I had prayed for protection and traveling mercies, got a peace about going down to San Diego earlier to see my parents, and was honestly trying to expect great things when I prayed. Yet, everything was so disappointing. I was scared, alone, and doubting my ability to hear or speak to God. Now, don't look to far down this rabbit trail. My relationship with God wasn't necessary in question, just how it was suppose to be walked out. For months I have felt like God has been asking me to dig deeper into what it means to pray. To discover the joys and excitement of a loving God who longs to hear and talk with us about every aspect of life. I have been trying to run to Him with my thoughts, worries, joys, and even questions. Memorize passages that remind me to ask, give thanks, and be expectant. Verses like the ones below kept coming to mind. 

Psalm 107:28-30 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven 

Matthew 7:7  ”Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." 

Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”  

Mark 11:24  Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 

John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it

So why wasn't God answer. I realized that C.S. Lewis was right. 

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”

By morning I was ready to take on another round of painful car problems but instead of being frustrated, irritated, and pissed off at God I was flexible. One of the times my car died I was next to a small restaurant. After eating breakfast I got to talking with the waitress. She shared how hard life was and how they were going to have to shut down their restaurant because of financial problems.  I'm pretty sure she has some questions about God's faithfulness in the midst of struggles and unexpected circumstances, yet she seemed to have such a positive attitude about it. She even gave me a Christmas present before I left.

Getting to Flagstaff, Az. was going to take a miracle and as the city come into view my heart was relieved. Finding a mechanic that could help me was my main objective, but of course God had so much more in store. After three mechanic and 6 hours of sitting in the Kia dealership lobby I was on my way, full of joy and peace. My car was fixed and God had worked it so my warranty covered a huge portion of the bill and although I wasn't headed to my parents I was content with just trusting God to lead me.  Life doesn't always end up the way we pictured it and it is during those tough times that we have the option to get bitter or remain flexible. God doesn't always show up the way we pray for Him too, he holds back until just the right time to answer in the best way possible. Trusting that is the key to getting through this life as a Saint. So, it is my prayer that as you start your day, spend some time discovering the beauty of prayer. Ask God for things, bring your worries and struggles to him, and expect Him to show up in ways that you could never imagine. Don't lose heart because its trusting and allowing God to change your perspective and heart that truly matters when you pray.

Brandy

1215.7 miles to go

"Come to the edge, He said.


They said: We are afraid.


Come to the edge, He said.


They came. He pushed them,


And they flew . . ."

— Guillaume Apollinaire

French poet

What does it mean to fly? This afternoon I was watching the Peter Pan that came out just a few years ago. As I sat there listening to Mrs. Darling describe Mr. Darling, it struck me that we all have our own stories to tell. Stories that can be seen as grand, exciting, joyous, and even daring always seem to make the headlines. However, what about those that would be categorized as crazy, irresponsible, mistakes, or even flat out stupid decisions. Do we see those just as important as the others? Are we willing to admit that life sometimes doesn’t make since and its through those situations that we have had to walk forward not knowing what life will look like around the bend that mold us the most.  

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

― Paulo Coelho, Brida

In 2006 I bought a one-way plane ticket to Colorado Springs, packed two suitcases and placed myself on a journey that changed my life forever. Now six years later I can testify that our God is more than faithful to guide, protect, and provide for those that take great risks to live life following His promptings. Over the years I’ve seen and experienced personally the still small voice asking us all to trust Him through the journey of life. To not be afraid when he calls us out of the boat and onto the water. No, I haven’t walked on water, but never once has this journey been boring. So far my life has been full of great adventures and even great sorrows. It has not been a fairy tale land like Neverland, but it also hasn’t all been poverty and regret. God has brought both into my life at different seasons to teach, mold, and transform me in such a way as to prepare me to fly.

On December 21^st I step out again on a new type of adventure. For a few months now I have been in a relationship with Josh Thiesen. We have been friends for a while, when we started talking about how we felt about each other we both felt like it would be important for us to be in proximity soon than later to know for sure if it was going to have a future. Originally we both thought it was going to be him moving to Colorado, but as things started to shake out, it made more sense for me to move there. This has not been a quick or flippant decision on either of our parts. As we have sought counsel from God, parents, family, mentors, elders, and friends it has become clear that this move could be the beginning of something great. Yes, there are fears that it could back fire and prove to not be what either of us is hoping; however, facing that fear is worth it.

I have been offered a job with Josh’s parents company as a project manager and office coordinator; although, it is a small business, job titles are hard to determine. Basically my job will be to use my education, gifts, and experiences to help both him and his parents with the business. Most of the details have yet to be figured out, but God definitely has me on a journey of discovering what it means to trust Him and allow Him to lead my life. To hold my expectations loosely and be brave enough to admit that sometimes life doesn’t end up looking like we originally thought.

It is my prayer that as I walk forward in this direction, you will see only a women that desires to be pleasing to her God. A women that is willing to lay everything down to serve her King and pursue the things that have been laid on her heart.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.

Brandy

Just $5...

I have picked up a new read. For a few months I have been reading different books on how to develop and sustain a healthy marriage, after the last one I realized that it might be good to start the process of healing personally. Not that it's not important to learn and grow in the knowledge of how to live life together as a couple, rather coming to a deeper understanding of how important it is to be as emotionally healthy as you can be before you enter into such a covenant. There are plenty of ways that the enemy will try to destroy such a relationship.  In fact it is very likely, that if both people are not fully aware of their own feelings, insecurities, weaknesses and wounds, he will attack there first.

Take for instance my fear of being irresponsible financially. For the past 4 years I have been facing head on the challenge to get out of debt. It has not been easy, but by the grace of God I have managed to make a lot of progress. It is still a work in progress and I am grateful that God is still providing every cent to pay off my debt. How does this example carry over to marriage? Finances are one of the leading causes of divorce. People can't don't take seriously the scriptures talking about finances and instead of opening up to their spouse, they hide the shame that comes with debt. I have read over and over again chapters talking about how important it is to be open and clear about financial expectations. Shining a light into the darkness of debt is huge in every marriage and as I have fought so hard to get this area of my life under control, it's scary to add in a new variable. 

For me it's not a matter of actually acquiring more money but rather being a good steward of what God has given me. My expectations on how too spend money have morphed over the years and are now at a point where I feel like I have a grasp on it. In the natural it seems like by adding in a second persons expectation it could only opens the door for the enemy to cause strife and frustration. Not because either person wants it to be there, but it is life and lets face it, the money aspect is tough to handle. We are faced everyday with tough decisions on how to spend what we have. We each have wants, desires, and even needs that need to be met by the finances that we acquire. However, I am coming to a deeper understanding of how important it is too continually run, scratch that I mean sprint, to the foot of the cross asking God to give you wisdom. 

What we have been given financially is not our own to spend. It should never have felt like it was my money to begin with. God has graciously given me much and as I learn to thinking biblically about money I pray that you too would sprint to the cross. For me walking will only leave room for the enemy to bring doubts and temptations, running doesn't seem quick enough, sprinting brings a clear understanding that you recognize with urgency the need to have God's perspective. 

Here is a website that I found that gives plenty of biblical references on finances. If you want, spend some time praying and meditating on just a few of them. Who knows, maybe God has something to say to you this morning. :)

B

Making the top 10 Superheroes list

Do you ever wonder what kind of super hero outfit Christ would wear if Hollywood tried to portray Him? Up until I sat down to write this post, I had not ever thought of this. However, now that I have, I am laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Why is it that in my mind any super hero that truly deserves respect has a kick ass costume too come along with him. Sure, Superman could fly and lift massive amounts of weight over his head, but heck, he was nothing until he put on that red cape and tight blue leotard. :) What about Spiderman, he would have been a creepy guy if he wasn't disguised in this black spidery outfit. How gross would it have been to just see junk coming from his wrists?

Okay I think you get my point, the way that super heros are portrayed change our perspective on how awesome they are. What if I told you that I could portray Christ even more awesome than Superman and Spiderman without having to run to the fabric store and learn how to sew? What if I could prove to you that the power that Christ has is far more than those that we have imagined in comic books. He is beyond anything you could ever conquer up and the best way to see Him is not through costumes and special effects but instead through the New Testament stories. These stories scream greatness and from my perspective move Jesus Christ to the top of any top ten superhero lists out there.

I don't recall any superhero on the current list having turned water into wine. (Now I'm not saying this one first just because I truly enjoy my spirits, but of course from a strictly scientific perspective.) What about the fact that he just had to touch people and they were healed, blind men were able to see, and umm HELLLOOOO dead men were raised! What about the fact that he made food appear from thin air, enough to feed the crowds of people that were following Him around. Or even the fact that he calmed the seas with His voice, walked on water and through walls? How about the fact that he endured tremendous pain and agony, could have got out of being put to death simply by calling out to the gigantic angelic army standing by waiting for His call, or even that after three days He opened his eyes, stood up and walked to the highest seat of honor.

Now that's a superhero that I am excited to spend the next year discovering. That's right, for those that don't know, each year I pray about a word or theme that God may use to mold me and shape me into the follower that he desires us all to be. This next year's word is discovery. With that I have decided that it also means getting back into the mindset of a 4th grader. My goal is to read as many books as possible that will stimulate my adventurous side at a 4th graders level. This is all with the hope to create within me a since of imagination, so that I can see Christ for the true superhero that He. I don't know what will come from this coming year, but I do have a strong sense of expectation and excitement that it is the start of something great. Almost as if this feeling could be the same as the one that C.S. Lewis felt as he sat down to pen the first words of the Chronicle of Narnia? Who knows maybe I too will write a childrens book that will capture the minds of people all over the world, pointing them to the awesome power and might of our great King and Saviour.

Thanks for walking through life with me and reading my blog. It is my prayer that you too will be encouraged to  walk into the adventure God has been longing to take you on. Don't be afraid to step out of the boat and walk on the water. It will only lead to much joy and excitement.

May He be lifted up higher and higher as we look at Him through the eyes of faith.

B

Chapter 4 verse 20

A few years back I started reading through the New Testament twice a year. I am not sure why, but it is humors and even surprising to me how after so many times of reading through the same words, I am still blown away by passages that I read. Although, this isn’t an everyday occurrence, it happens enough to remind me that the book I hold in my hand is not just another book on my list of books to read. It’s living and breathing and the more I read it, the more it grows and deepens my understanding of what life truly is about, Jesus Christ.

Today’s chapters were from Ephesians. I once heard a pastor reference this book, he spoke on how the concepts found throughout the book of Ephesians were all centered on relationships. So of course now every time I read it, I too come to the same conclusion. For example, three years ago I was going through a rough time with a friend. These verses drew me back to the unity and need to put prayer first in all of my relationships. There was nothing I could do to “save” my friend from the path they were heading down and through Paul’s gentle reminders to bring it back to God, I was able to bring perspective into what my role was in the friendship.

And then another read through revealed to me the importance of remembering the unity amongst the body of Christ. We all have gifts and talents that have been given to us by God, these are to be used to build the body up. As we allow the unity of Christ’s grace and mercy to take root in our hearts, we can accomplish much.

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

As each person comes into the family of Christ with unspoken expectations there is a strong chance that we will disappoint each other. We aren’t perfect and although we strive to be, we wont get there in this life. Sorry to disappoint you, but I will probably screw up and give you plenty of opportunity to be pissed at me at some point in time. However, it’s through these passages that my heart is turned towards forgiveness and commitment to walking life with you.

I am sure that I could continue to look through my journals and find more examples to prove my point that God has used this book tremendously in my life, but that’s not why I am writing today. Today I am writing to encourage you to get back into the arena. Put on those socks and pull out those running shoes, because it’s time to pick up where you left off. Don’t stop here and allow the “knowledge” that you acquired in your youth or even yesterday to sustain you. Get a fresh word from God from the only true source we have, His word. Use it to learn how to live, how to love, and how to learn what it means to be more like Him. Ephesians 4:20 points about that we did not learn Christ by walking as children with hearts set on evil and dark things.

 “But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the Spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”

Praying that your eyes will be opened to the truths found in His word and that you too would fall madly in love with our Mighty King, Savior, and Groom. 

B

Before the Victory March

It’s not everyday that you hear the voice of the Lord calling you out onto the battle field. I’d contend that it’s not even on a monthly basis that those faithfully following His calling on their life are called to drag themselves out onto the battle field to fight. Now I know that this sounds so contradictory to what our beloved pastors tell us about the Christian walk. It’s a battle, we should be waking up every morning ready to put the armor on. To take the words written to the Ephesians by Paul literally and mentally place the full armor of God on so that we can be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. (Ephesians 6:11) Don’t get me wrong, I believe that we are at war, it’s just that I don’t think we are on the battle field everyday clashing our swords, shooting our guns, and punching people in the face. (May have a few different movie fight scenes combined in my description of a battle, but you get my point.) For many this war is fought silently from home.

Each day we wake up and have a choice to fight our own flesh. To choose our selfish desires and neglect the opportunity that we have to train for the real battle. We give into our own satisfaction, felt needs, and dreams of financial success and forget that our days are not meant to be spent on us but rather in preparation for the day God does call us to fight in the battle.

Recently I have been reading a book by Dave Harvey called When Sinners Say “I Do”. It is a book focused on discovering the power that comes from have a biblical perspective on the purpose of marriage and how the Gospel must be at the center of such relationships in order for them to have even the slightest chance at success. There is a chapter entitled Mercy Triumphs Over Judgement that spoke specifically to me this week that I wanted to share. No, I am not engaged. Yes, I am in a relationship with a wonderful, godly man and if you know me at all you know I don’t take these types of relationships lightly. I have spent the past year reading books on how to develop godly characteristics within a marriage and more importantly as a wife. The thing I have loved about this book is that it is pointing out over and over again how central the complete understanding of the gospel is to our lives, regardless of our relationship status on Facebook.

“The faithful practice of lovingkindness sows experiences of grace into marriage... they are kindnesses sown into the normal routine of life. They are the grace moments that we draw on in times of trial.” (Harvey, 2007) These grace moments shouldn’t just be desired with your spouse. As I’ve searched for what it means to be a godly wife I’ve bought into a theory that for some may seem strange. My pastor once said that he would challenge those desiring to be married to stop looking for the right man or women and become the right one. The more as a single women I choose to fight my sin of selfishness, the more godly characteristics are sown into the fabric of my everyday life. If I can’t show lovingkindness to those around me now, why in the world would I expect to magically be able to turn a switch on after my wedding day. It’s almost comical how often this type of mentally takes root in our lives. I have talked with so many newly married couples and a common theme is that they didn’t realize how selfish they were until they got married. That’s funny, because I did. :) I wouldn’t have questioned that one at all. I’m selfish and its the actions that I choose daily that focus on training me up for the battle that matter most. One day I may be married, but until then I will spend every second fighting the sins that have a craving to disrupt the peace, joy, and beauty of such a relationship.

That’s what I mean when I talk about God not calling me to the battle field today. Instead, he’s called me to the training arena. To lift weights and focus on getting into shape for the day that he does call me out. 

Traveling On 2 Roads At Once

What to blog about seems to alludes me this morning. Not sure why, I often wonder if it is because of the vast array of subject matter available to blog about, but sometimes my screen remains blank not because of lack of topics to write about but because there is just too much to say. I want to share about how awesome our God is and the ways in which He constantly amazes me with His grace and mercy in my life and if I didn't reign it in I'd be sitting here forever. There's so many different directions that my blog could go each time I sit down to write, that to get it all out on the page seems overwhelming. Today more than ever this quote from Henri Nouwen comes to mind;

“Writing is not just jotting down ideas. Often we say: ‘I don’t know what to write. I have no thoughts worth writing down.’ But much good writing emerges from the process of writing itself. As we simply sit down in front of a sheet of paper and start to express in words what is on our minds or in our hearts, new ideas emerge, ideas that can surprise us and lead us to inner places we hardly knew were there."

It's almost like this blank screen in front of me leads me to two completely different roads, at the same time. One road being completely paralyzed by fear of having nothing worthy talking about and the other being so passionate about expressing my complete adoration and love for my Lord that I could go on forever and ever.

For one of my courses I'm reading Untamed Leadership: A Journey Through The Instincts That Shape Us by Brent Carter. One of the sections was on what prevents us from stepping into the leadership roles we were designed to fulfill. The poor chooses that we make each day and the things that we allow to overwhelm us typically are the culprits; however, we seldom recognize them for the evils that they truly are. It's my opinion that it's because we have yet to taste how good things could be if we just allowed God to lead us into our callings and dreams. We bury ourselves on purpose because we are afraid of our greatness (not in a prideful way but in such a way as to bring more glory to Christ) and honestly, this is what I do with my writing. I know that God has given me a gift to express in words just how much he deserves our complete praise and admiration, yet I often allow myself to become distracted and afraid of what others will think of my writing. If I only believed whole heartedly in the second part of the Henri Nouwen quote;

“One of the most satisfying aspects of writing is that it can open in us deep wells of hidden treasures that are beautiful for us as well as for others to see.”

There's beauty within that is screaming to get out and isn't that what this world needs. Beauty shining so bright that the darkness and ugliness of this world has to shriek back in fear. The enemy has no room to manipulate or interfere with our lives when we are walking into the beautiful callings God designed us for. May we all have the ability to recognize the instincts that are preventing us from walking into those callings and as we do may the grace of God supply everything that's needed to make us shine brighter than any possible lamp stand could.

So, if you want to be an artist, be an artist. A counselor, start counsel. A mentor, find a men-tee. A missionary, go in that direction trusting God to provide. For me, it's writing and teaching and as God has allowed me to place myself in a position to be able to whole heartedly pursue both, he's brought such clarity and peace. It hasn't been easy and I've wanted to return to Egypt at times, but as I stand on the brink of the promised land, I know the journey has been and will be worth. I wont stop fighting and moving forward in my calling until the day I die, mainly because Christ is worth it. He has proven to me over and over again that his words are faithful and true. He will supply my every need and although it doesn't seem to always be the way I imagined it to be, looking back its always been the best. It's my prayer that you too will fight the battle along this road we call life. Standing in the strength of the Lord, and seeing beyond a shadow of doubt His goodness in the midst of everything wanting to derail you.

You want to know 13 things about me?

A while back I wrote a poem on how Christ was starting to open my eyes to the dreams and desires planted within me. This poem was not to be taken literal but more spiritually. For the past 2 years I have been visiting a "life coach". This man has been instrumental in the process of what God was doing in my heart to get me back on track. I can remember sitting in his office the first day trying to explain to him why I was having anxiety attacks. Didn't he know all the stuff I was doing, how crazy busy my life was, it was no wonder to me why I was always stressed and couldn't breathe easy whenever I thought about my day, my week, or even my month. There was always something to be done, some project or homework assignment that I was falling behind in, someone to meet for coffee or a bill that couldn't be paid. However, he response was completely unexpected. For years counselors, pastors, and dear friends had all tried to help me eliminate things from my overstuffed Thanksgiving plate and yet there I was, completely overloaded and overwhelmed by life. 

So what did he say that completely changed my life forever. He told me that he was way busier than me and wasn't having trouble breathing.... Seriously, that's what he said. For a few minutes I just sat there wanting to for the first time in my life to punch someone. How could he say that, what kind of life coach was this guy! After a few minutes of awkward silence, he began to explain. He said that he sees more Christians walk through his door believing that the journey of faith and obedience is about doing rather than being. They have drank the lies of the enemy that the more you do for "Christ" the more you can prove to others that you are in deed a Christian. Sure, their faith is real. They can recite the gospel and even claim to be saved; however, there is one aspect they are missing. 

The being part of Christianity is the essential core of the whole message of Christ's resurrection and without it we are all screwed. A ticking time bomb of anxiety and fear of completely losing control of our preciously manicured lives. Was that the cause of me anxiety? Was he telling me that it wasn't the amount of stuff on my plate, rather it was my lack of understanding of who I was and ultimately the strength and power that comes only through the Holy Spirit living and breathing within me. I wasn't overloaded or stuffed to my breaking point because of my schedule, rather it was because I was living from the very small strength I assumed I had within me. 

For the past two years the refreshing reality of Christ's strength being the only true strength I have, has began to settle in. I have mediated and fought with God to bring me back to a place of complete dependency on Him and as a result there is finally a stirring. A great awakening of sorts within my soul to the calling and dreams He has placed on my heart. These coming months will hold great things for me and I am excited that you are reading along in this blog so I can share those things with you. I don't have the master plan or even the 5 year or 2 year plan, I do; however, know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it will great because it will put me in a position to shine the only true light that this world needs. Prayerfully allowing me to be an instrument God chooses to use to break others free from the same lies I was trapped in. 

B

P.S. 

Here are just a few scriptures that have been vital to me over the years. 

1. In Christ Jesus you were given grace before the world was created. 2 Timothy 1:9, “He gave us grace in Christ Jesus before the ages began.”
2. In Christ Jesus you were chosen by God before creation. Ephesians 1:4, “God chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world.”
3. In Christ Jesus you are loved by God with an inseparable love. Romans 8:38–39, “I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
4. In Christ Jesus you were redeemed and forgiven for all your sins. Ephesians 1:7, “In Christ we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses.”
5. In Christ Jesus you are justified before God and the righteousness of God in Christ is imputed to you. 2 Corinthians 5:21, “For our sake God made Christ to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
6. In Christ Jesus you have become a new creation and a son of God. 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” Galatians 3:26, “In Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.”
7. In Christ Jesus you have been seated in the heavenly places even while he lived on earth. Ephesians 2:6, “God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.”
8. In Christ Jesus all the promises of God are Yes for you. 2 Corinthians 1:20, “All the promises of God find their Yes in Christ.”
9. In Christ Jesus you are being sanctified and made holy. 1 Corinthians 1:2, “To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus.”
10. In Christ Jesus everything you really needed will be supplied. Philippians 4:19, “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
11. In Christ Jesus the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. Philippians 4:7, “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
12. In Christ Jesus you have eternal life. Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
13. And in Christ Jesus you will be raised from the dead at the coming of the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:22, “For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.” All those united to Adam in the first humanity die. All those united to Christ in the new humanity rise to live again 

don't you know my words are spirit and truth... wait, what?

Didn't you know that what I think and am learning about God is the very same thing that you should be learning and thinking about. I mean seriously, your convictions are the exact same as mine, right? How could they be different? God would want me to judge you and point out your sin, right? Well, it's not like I am trying to be mean. I just want you to experience the same freedom and excitement as I have.

I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but these thoughts really go through my head sometimes. Okay not just sometimes but most of the time. It's as if my heart to teach others and disciple them tends to take on a judgmental and snooty attitude, rather the heart that God desires for me to have for others in the midst of their walk. This blog may come off more harsh towards myself but as I've said in the past, if I don't hate my sin I wont be motivated to rip it out and replace it with truth. I am not saying that I continue to beat myself up for being a jerk; however, if I ever come to a place where I think I have a handle on my sin, I have most likely stopped fighting it. I've become complacent and stagnate to the battle waging within me against all that I know and believe to be true. 

So, my sister can completely contest to the fact that often times I forget that I am not the Holy Spirit. I want so badly for others to move forward, making traction with their struggles, that I can get pretty passionate about "helping" them. I try to meet with them to just motivate them to get off their butt and start moving in any direction. Or I send them encouraging emails or text messages to remind them that they can step up and fight. There is even the quick phone call just to check up on them to see if anything has changed. Nothing... no progress.

For years this has been pretty disappointing, not because of the person not getting it but because I've felt powerless to break others from the bondage that they seem to care less about being in. Don't they know and see how much more they could be or were designed to be. Don't they know if they just listened to me they would experience life, not only that but abundant life. 

Does anyone else see a trend here... who's God. Me or God? It's not anything I am going to say or do that is going to break the bondage within these dear friends. I can't bring life to their souls, and quench the areas of their life that are so dry that they are screaming out for anything to moisten them. That's twisted and pretty narcissistic. If there is ever to be real change and freedom in my family and friends lives it is not going to come because I judged them or "motivated" them to action. It's going to be because God did. So rather than spending 90% of my time talking and sharing my own convictions with them, how about I pray 90% of the time and use the other 10% to just love on them. 

Don't I believe that if I have even a small amount of desire to see them succeed that God has an even larger desire? He is a good God and if I truly believe that he wants the best for me and is speaking to me, I would transfer that knowledge to others. So, if you are like me and think that your knowledge and conviction of Godly matters is the standard that everyone should live their life by, it may be time to re-evaluate. To draw it back to the only true source of change, Jesus. He knows the list of people that you are longing to see freed from bondage and trust me, he knows how to help them better than you could ever help them. He sees their true need and knows their true hurts and wounds that need to be healed. Don't neglect the power and beauty of our Saviors ability to come into our lives and do an amazing work. Pray for them. Pray and pray and pray and pray. Don't overstep into the role of the Holy Spirit. 

1st of many

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Okay not really, but every year around this time I start to ponder what the future could hold and to me that is what Christmas is. Christ coming to earth was not the whole story but just the beginning of His journey to the cross, his death, and the ultimate glory of his resurrection.  So last year when I began to pray about 2012's direction (spiritual theme) the word journey kept coming to mind. In the past 9 months this word journey has definitely proven itself to be a common theme in my life. 

In February I had a revelation that like Christ, we all on a journey to the ultimate purpose of glory. It's not my own glory that I seek but Christ's. Because of this I have fought against so many spiritual sins this year. Each battle has proven that I am surrounded by God's gracious hand leading and directing my journey towards indescribable blessings and transformation. In fact, I have learned that the connection between battling your sin and receiving tremendous blessings from the Lord goes hand in hand.

Battling ones sin and accepting God's grace can sometimes cause a tension within those of us that desire to bring ourselves into alignment with glorifying Christ in our lives. The pendulum seems to swing between a strict approach and a lackadaisical approach to dealing with the sin in our lives. We want to experience the joys of walking with Christ and the power of His Holy Spirit, but we don't want to have the discipline it takes to make room for the inner workings and transformation that should occur as a result of His very presence in our lives. 

I'm not talking about the sin that has become somewhat cultural to avoid or judge others for participating in like smoking, drinking, or even taking one political stance instead of republican. :) It is more the stuff that Jerry Bridges talks about in his book Respectable Sin. Ungodliness seems to run rampant in our lives because we struggle to see the sinfulness of anxiety, frustration, discontentment, unthankfulness, pride, selfishness, lack of self-control, impatience, irritability, anger, judgmentalism, envy, jealousy, and even our tongue. The list could go on but as I begin to ask God to help me wrap up this years spiritual transformation I have a feeling that my journey is leading me down a path of tackling some of these. 

These sins seem to only become more prevalent as we head into the holiday season. Although we have three more months in this year I know that the journey that God has me on is not going to end come January 1. This year has marked the beginning of something great in my life and has I continue to strive to bring God the most glory with my life I know that the journey is not going to be one of ease. But it is more than worth fighting for. 

Jared Anderson has a song that has meant a lot to me over the years. 

This Is Life

Brace yourselfThis is going to take every part of youThis is going to make God believe in youAnd you believe in Him
Pace yourselfEternity is not a fairy taleThe in between can be your heavenOr just another day in hell
'Cause the road we walk is straight and narrowAnd the times we have they're ours to borrowSo give a little understandingThis is life and it's hell if you only live[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/jared_anderson/this_is_life.html ]Calm yourselfThe fear that's in your heart must surely dieYou always say its hard and you don't know whyWell welcome to everybody else's life
And lift yourself 

You're bigger when you're on your knees againJust look above and look withinDon't look around its all just been
'Cause the road we walk is straight and narrowThe times we have they're ours to borrowSo give a little understandingThis is life and it's hell if you only liveOh, give a little understandingThis is life and it's hell if you only live for yourself

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/jared_anderson/#share